Sometimes I Wonder, Do You?

When I awake in heaven, I will be fully satisfied, for I will see You face-to-face. ~Psalm 17:15

"Oh the thought to have God all alone to myself, and to know that God has me all alone to Himself."

Seeing You "face-to-face."

I will, no doubt, be beside myself. My heart will be racing and I'll be nervous and awfully excited "all aflutter."

I've read books about the early pioneer days and how ordering a bride by mail was a common practice. I can imagine how "all aflutter" a woman would be as she was on the last leg of her journey, riding the stage into the town where her new husband would step up and claim her as his bride. Oh, they would have been corresponding and would have know a lot about each other, but seeing him face-to-face would be nothing short of emotional basket-weaving in and out and up and down and around and over the top and through the bottom and in and out...

Lord, I don't want You to misunderstand me. I'm anticipating that time when I'll see You face-to-face, and I know within my heart that it will be more wonderful than I can possibly imagine.

But sometimes I wonder...

You are so precious to me today. The way we walk and talk together. And I don't have to share You with anyone else. You are constantly with me as close as my every breath. When I can't go to sleep, I talk to You. You're there. When I'm all alone and singing love songs to You, You're listening. (You are so polite.) You've kept every tear I cried in a bottle. These things bring me so close to You.

Will our relationship be as sweet in Heaven?

I won't need You then as I need You now.

I won't rush to You for comfort and understanding.

I won't need to talk to You about my problems.

There will be huge crowds vying for Your attention...and You know how I am about crowds I just won't go rather than get in a shoving match with a bunch of people.

Will You still hold my hand?

Can I still struggle down in Your lap when things go wrong? (But things won't be "going wrong" in Heaven, so I won't need to sit on Your lap, will I?)

I like to close my eyes and climb with the men on the road to Emmaus just strolling and talking.

Well, those are my thoughts; and as you can see, there's a lot of insecurity there for me, Lord. You're my best Friend. you are my Confidant, my Protector, and my Knight in shining armor. You know, I've got a good thing going here, and I don't want to lose it.

I guess what I had better do is make the most of the time I have with You now, believing that I'll have everything I need to be "so happy" when I finally see you "face-to-face"